Leadership: Division Versus Respect

We're talking today about leadership, we're starting a series on leadership lessons. And this particular lesson is on respect versus division, within a family, within friends within a company, within any situation in which you find yourself, you can find yourself very easily in a situation where division is very present. And there's very little respect going on. There's a lot of bullying going on. This is coming from a real life example that I have been a part of in the very recent past where I heard things like well, I hope this person goes down. I hope this person I hope everything falls apart for this person. Now to be to be honest, the person that was being talked about. It's one of those situations where it could very easily cascade into a man, she's just been so awful to us that I hope something awful happens to her too. That's human nature. And I totally understand that. And I've been a part of, of conversations like that. But as I was on the outside of the situation, looking in and hearing the talk that was going on, it really made me think about division and respect.

Where exactly do we draw a line? How do we draw the line? How do we remove ourselves from that situation? Do we need to remove ourselves from that situation? How do we treat the situation as a whole? Respect is earned. You don't just get respect because of a title or because of a position Respect is earned. But what happens when a person who is in a position of perhaps in their mind, they deserve respect because of the position that they're in, but they abused that position? And they actually cause a lot of hurt? How do we deal with something like that? Do we give the hurt back? I hope they go down? I hope their next business venture fails. Is that really going to make anything better for us if they were to fail in the future?

Of course, the best thing that could happen in a perfect world is that that person and won't call them a leader because leadership is not bullying. Leadership is not micromanaging leadership is not pulling others down in order to build yourself up. Leadership true leadership It is creating an environment of growth. It is an environment of mutual respect. It is an environment of believing in the people you are leading and helping them believe in themselves, helping them become better leaders. A great leader is constantly helping the people they are leading become better leader, the leaders themselves. That's a true leader.

It's someone who always respects and always, always commands respect because they've earned that respect. That's a true leader. But what do we do? What do we do when someone who is in a leadership position abuses that power becomes a micromanager starts to belittle people and talk evil about other people causes their own division, and then things start to fall apart, people see it, and they turn around. And they have two choices. They can simply walk away, walk away and create, create a different life for themselves, or they can start to fire back. So do we lead? Do we respect ourselves? Do we respect any good that person had if there was some? Or do we start to cause division and bullying ourselves? That is my question for you today. It is a question that I have been asking myself, I have been guilty. I have been that person who who feels inside whether I say it out loud or not. My private thoughts are I hope they go down. I hope everything fails for them. I know I'm not the only one. We we all fall into this. And we need to check ourselves when that happens. Do we really want bad to fall on someone else? Or do we simply want to feel better ourselves? And will wishing ill on someone else actually make ourselves feel better? The answer is no. I'm going to answer it for you. No, it's not going to make anything better if that person's life falls apart. But it will make us feel better. If we conjure up respect for ourselves and simply walk away, wish them well and walk away.

The truth is this, they have the opportunity to grow themselves as well. When we know ourselves, we grow ourselves. John Maxwell says “Know yourself to grow yourself. But there are people who will refuse to tap into knowing themselves they will refuse to tap into growing themselves.”

I don't understand the reasoning behind that. But many people refuse, they just want to micromanage they want to be they don't want really to be a leader, they want to be a dictator, I don't understand that mentality. But we're not going to change it by wishing ill on them. It only creates a bullying heart in ourselves. We've lowered ourselves to the other person's standard. And those are really low standards. We don't want to lower ourselves, we want to grow ourselves we want to become better.

Division is a it's a poison. It's the worst poison known to mankind. It separates what what was once a great thing. It's it separates that it destroys relationships. It encourages hostility between individuals, between groups, then you find a faction, this is how this is how disagreements and wars begin. It's toxic, and nothing is more toxic to a community and that can be to people or a group of people, then division. Most divisions start with a disagreement. It's how we view differences is the differences by themselves aren't bad. It's how we view them that affect our relationships.

Everyone wants to feel validated like they belong. And some people try to find that validation by demeaning others. That is not a true leader. That validation comes from within we don't need anyone to tell us we did a good job, guys, no one you don't need to hear it from anyone except yourself. validate yourself. You were born an amazing, fabulous human being. So validate yourself. We don't need to find it by pulling others down that is division and it is a toxic poison. What if instead, we believed in creating a positive, safe and respectful environment by treating others with kindness and respect? not tolerating negative speech or bullying? What if we committed to building an inclusive workplace and inclusive home and inclusive friendships where everyone can contribute and succeed? Now let's go back to that not tolerating negative speech or bullying. What is someone who is in a leader? Leadership position is doing that to you. How do you not tolerate it? Do you bully back? Do you start talking bad about them?

I'm going to say again, no, no, turn and walk away. You do not need to be a part of the watercooler negative speech against someone else. simply stop the communication Listen, I will not be a part of this conversation. When people look at you funny, maybe, will they start talking about you behind your back? Maybe, maybe, but you are not responsible for other people's actions, you are only responsible for yourself. You are only responsible for how you react and the words you say, what if we actively listened to each other? What if we openly communicated? What if we were mindful of how we were speaking to and about each other true leaders refuse to be a part of the negativity, they refuse to be a part of bullying. What they do is take proactive, proactive steps to fostering an environment of collaboration, understanding and mutual respect. If there is someone that you cannot have mutual respect with and for walk away, don't let negative speech and bullying divide, you work together to find solutions, I'm the I'm going to be the first to recognize that there are some people who will not come to solutions with you, because it is all about them. That is not a leader. It's a dictator. It's someone who is abusing power, they are not leaders. In a true environment where the leaders are leading, everyone thrives, everyone is growing.

Instead of stooping to someone else's level, which is much, much lower than you would like in your life, and that's anyone who is who is fostering toxic a toxic relationship or spreading negative speech. That's that's all of those things. Don't stoop to that level. Instead, pick yourself up, be the person that you were created to become. And that is someone who is providing that safe, positive and respectful environment, treating each other with kindness and respect. not tolerating that bullying. We find ourselves or we find someone in our circle, constantly wanting to build up the negative speech, the bullying, if they're being bullied, they want to bully back either the person that's bullying them or bullying someone else we want to keep we want to call everybody and say You wouldn't believe what this person said, Why are we spreading it? Do with it? You go to that person? And you say I will not accept this negative speech? What if it's your boss?

I have left jobs and lost jobs for being unwilling to accept being treated as anything less than a valuable human being. No, that doesn't mean that I wanted the red carpet thrown out for me. But I would not be spoken to. As as, as if someone as a as someone who had no value as someone who just had to be walked all over. When I got to the point in my life where I refused to accept that in my life, I was able to stand up and say no more and walk away. And that is what I'm asking you to do. Yes, it's hard. But you deserve better than being treated, as it should be being treated disrespectfully to be bullied. That's division. We want true leadership where we create atmospheres of respect.

That means everyone is respecting everyone else. And if there is someone that is not living up to that standard, we we create the environment without them, we either leave and go somewhere else, or we ask that person to leave kindly, because they are still human beings, they still deserve to be valued. They haven't learned how to be respectful, yet they haven't learned that or they don't want to, but that doesn't mean that we should stoop to their level and bully them back. openly communicate. Listen to one another. Be mindful of how we speak to and about each other. take proactive steps to foster an environment of collaboration, understanding and mutual respect. What if we made that our creed, our leadership creed? We believe in creating a positive, safe and respectful environment by treating others with kindness and respect and not tolerating negative speech or bullying. What if we made that our creed from this day going forward? We believe in creating a positive, safe and respectful environment by treating others with kindness and respect and not tolerating negative speech or bullying. We're committed to building inclusivity where everyone contributes and succeeds. That puts away with the bullying. It puts away with the negative speech or puts away with pulling others down. Pulling someone else down. Seeing someone else fail, does not make you a success and it does not build you up. It just makes you a part of the bullying. Be a leader start to bring people take Other, I'm refuse to be a part of the division.

Heavy lesson today, but it is on my heart and I wanted to bring it to you. Being on the outside and listening in to things around me, has really opened up my eyes to this this week. And it was a situation situations where it opened up my eyes to the times that I have done this to others. And I don't ever want to do it again. I want to create a positive and safe environment, treat others with kindness, respect and not tolerate any negative speech or bullying of others. committed to building a an incredible environment where everyone contributes and everyone succeeds. We all succeed by building each other up. When someone else fails, it doesn't make us success. And when someone else fails, after we have wished them to fail, is simply makes us the bully. We take on their title. So let's take on the title of leader dedicated to being great leaders, and continuing to work towards environments where everyone thrives. Your journal prompt today is I can become a better leader by changing this in my life. What would that be? I'll turn it into a question how can you become a better leader today? How can you become a better leader today?

Everything rises and falls on leadership. So be the leader that you were created to be. Maybe you don't work in a company. It doesn't matter. You are always leading someone even if it is only yourself. So be the best leader you can be how can you become a better leader today?