What Do Manners Have to Do with Leadership?

What do manners have to do with leadership?

And while we're at it, whatever happened to good manners, please. And thank you admitting when you're wrong. Let's start off with a story. Recently, I was at a leadership event. So at an event with executives, leaders, business owners, managers, CEOs, CFOs, you name it, the room full of leaders. And part of the part of the meeting was that coffee would be would be served to us. And I got to the meeting and I had sat down the waitress asked me if I wanted coffee. I said yes, please, and got her name, thanked her for it. And then later someone came in and sat down next to me. And the same, the same server came up and asked this person if he would like coffee.

Without even turning around and looking at her. His answer was Sure. Sure, I was dumbfounded, dumbfounded. And I just kind of looked at her and she looked at me and she shrugged her shoulders. She left the room, she came back with his coffee. And she put it down for him. He never acknowledged it never acknowledged that she was in the room, never acknowledged that she that he had been served. It blew me away. We call ourselves leaders in that room. And as far as I'm concerned, that is not the behavior of a leader. That is the behavior of someone who is self absorbed and believes the world result revolves around them. That's not a leader. There are other names for that, that I won't say on this podcast. It blew me away, if we're going to call ourselves leaders if we are going to learn about communication connection. Let's get back to basic manners. Please, and thank you. Please and thank you.

How hard is it to say those words? Yes, please. And thank you. And while we're at it, we're did I'm on a roll today this this just really got me thinking and really got me looking at the world through a different lens, things that I have accepted things I have said and realize that they are taking over and take In the place of good manners, where did the phrase no problem come from? When did that start? I think I'll do a rabbit hole dig sometime when I have time. Where did that phrase even come from? No problem. When someone does something for you, or thanks, you the responses, hey, no problem. Well, I didn't know I was creating a problem for you that you need to say no problem to me back. The correct responses, you're welcome. You're welcome conveyed conveys something very different than no problem. No problem puts you in a place of realizing that you put this person out. But they're saying, Hey, no problem. Where you're welcome. conveys, I was so happy to do this for you. And this phrase, too, that I'm hearing more and more often? Well, she's not wrong. He's not wrong. You're not wrong.

The correct phrase is, you're right. You're right, takes responsibility and admits I was wrong. I made a mistake. You're right, you're right. You're not wrong. Take some of that responsibility off your shoulders. It's not the same way of saying the same thing. It conveys a much different message. And it concerns me that we are losing these basic manners and society. Please, and thank you. Yes, please, thank you. children younger than a year can learn how to say please, you can be teaching them thank you before they are crawling. We don't deserve anything. We are not here to be served all the time. We are here to serve others. And when everybody is doing that, we're all being served. basic manners go a long way. Ask someone their name. When someone comes to your table you out for dinner, they come to your table. And they introduce themselves.

Do you think them by name. They didn't have to come to work to serve you. But they did.

When you're in a hotel and you see housekeeping, or someone at the front desk, do you ask them their name and thank them by name. It is important to the skills of leadership and communication and connection to value people. And that means asking them their name, do your best to remember, I'm going to be the last person to judge you for forgetting names because I am constantly working on this. And really working really working on it. Because names are important. And don't be afraid to say I have forgotten your name, would you please remind me again. And then thank them for their service. True leaders understand that leadership is not a dictatorship. They're not the same thing. True leaders understand that they are pouring into people all the time helping them become the best version of themselves. And that happens by giving to them. respecting them, thanking them, admitting when you've made a mistake. That's true leadership.

I don't believe that someone with no manners can ever be a true leader. If you can't thank someone for getting you a cup of coffee.

You're not growing as a leader. You're not even a leader in the first place in my mind. Take some time to reconnect with your manners. Yes, please. Thank you. You're right. Let go of these phrases that have somehow snuck into our society. Hey, no problem. I didn't know I was creating a problem for you in the first place. And if someone does something for you take the time to say thank you. Thank you. When you don't say thank you, it's as if you've slammed a door in someone's face. You've ghosted them. You've let them know that you are far more important than them and they don't deserve the time of day that it would take you to say thank you. And when someone thinks you, you're welcome is the correct response. You're welcome. Try it out. Say it with me.

I'm going to climb down off my soapbox now. I'll admit that I am not perfect and I have made these mistakes. And I've had a huge reminder this week to work on this in my life and to ask you to work on it in yours.

Let's take back our manners and rise up as leaders as your journal prompt today.

When was the last time that you ask someone their name and thanked them for a service they provided for you?